Sex Ed 101: Lubricants

It's Back to School Time!  Even if you don't have children heading off to school,  there's something about September 1st that leaves you longing for some extra knowledge about something, anything!

There's nothing like the first day of school when you start the year eager to learn, with your clean notebook and freshly sharpened pencil.  By December, you're over it.  Right now though, inspired by all the back to school specials in stores, we wanted to give you a quick overview on sex education, starting with Lube 101.

Fantasy Gifts believes that lubricant is an essential ingredient for any sexual encounter.  Whether you are alone, or with a partner, a satisfying, healthy sexual experience must include lubricant.  But which one and why?

The first factor to consider is why are you using a lubricant?  Believe it or not, different lubricants can enhance or diminish a sexual experience.  Are you using it alone or with a partner?  If you are using it alone, are you using it with a toy or without a toy?  Why does it matter?  Because if you are using a silicone toy or a latex condom, you must not use a silicone based lubricant, like Pjur Eros Original Bodyglide, because it will break down the silicone material.  This is not only bad for your silicone based sex toy but can be downright dangerous when you're talking about a latex condom.  Try a water-based lubricant like System Jo H2O Personal Lubricant.  This high-quality, water based lubricant reactivates when you add more moisture to it so it will never become dry and tacky.

The second factor to consider is your own body.  What sensitivities does your own body have?  If you are prone to yeast infections, we do not recommend using a flavored lubricant.   While flavored lubricants cannot cause a yeast infection, the sorbitol which provides the flavoring can feed an already existing yeast infection.  If you are looking for a different sensation without the sorbitol, try a warming or cooling water based lubricant like Wet Synergy.

If you prefer a product that is made with only natural or organic ingredients, try System JO Organic Lubricant.  This lubricant is 100% natural certified USDA organic.  It is made with aloe vera and acai making it silky smooth and long lasting.  It is condom and silicone toy compatible.  Best of all, it is glycerin and paraben free.

The third factor to consider is what experience are you hoping to enhance?  If you anticipate oral sex (and do not have a yeast infection as discussed above) then we love the flavors of System JO H2O Flavored Lubricants.  Available in vanilla, mint, tangerine, apple, strawberry, cherry, raspberry, and pomegranate, there's a flavor for every taste!  If you want to warm it up or cool it down, we like the Wet Synergy mentioned above.  If you are going for anal play, you must have an anal based lubricant.  The viscosity is thicker, making it perfect to protect the anus which does not produce its own moisture.  Our favorite is System JO Anal H2O Personal Lubricant.

Whatever your desired outcome, a lubricant will enhance it!

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Why 50 Shades of Grey?

For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past week, the trailer for the movie 50 Shades of Grey was just released with much fanfare!  Not only was the trailer premiered on the The Today Show, but in just over a week the trailer has garnered over 13 million views on You Tube.  So what is it about this book that has inspired, to quote to the trailer, a "worldwide phenomena?"

To be honest, we're not quite sure.  All due respect to E.L. James, she certainly didn't invent erotic fiction nor did she pen it particularly well.  Erotic fiction has been around since words were invented.  From ancient Greece to William Shakespeare, better writers than E.L. James put their erotic fantasies down on paper and none of them felt the urge to use the term "inner goddess" even once, much less 150 times.

Perhaps it's because E.L. James started with familiar, popular characters and built on them.  For those of you who don't know (because you've been living under that proverbial rock) "50 Shades of Grey" was originally written as a piece of fan fiction based on the popular Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer.  Of course, those books were hardly great literature either, but they struck a chord with young, female readers who loved the idea of a strong, wealthy, handsome protagonist who saw the beauty in a shy, awkward girl with a serious self-esteem issue.

Whatever the reason, no one predicted the frenzy that would soon surround these books.  Vendors were soon selling out of Ben Wa balls, women were openly reading erotic fiction on the beach and the phrase "mommy porn" was born (or at least took on a completely different meaning!).

At Fantasy Gifts we couldn't be more thrilled that this book has allowed millions of people to shed some of their sexual inhibitions and encouraged them to become more sexually adventurous.  Anything that allows the topic of human sexuality to become more mainstream and openly discussed is a welcome change from the previously held notion that sex is a dirty, taboo subject best left to back alleys and seedy book stores.  Fantasy Gifts has been in business for 35 years and has always strove to make sexual health and wellness not only an acceptable topic, but a necessary topic.  Humans are sexual beings and thank God the mainstream media is finally acknowledging that.  Even the controversy surrounding the book, ("BDSM Advocates Worry About 50 Shades of Grey Sex) means we are finally having more open discussions about what it means to be in a consensual, BDSM relationship versus an abusive relationship.  Was Anastasia Steele a willing sub or was she a victim of domestic violence?  Discuss, discuss, discuss!

Certainly the book has encouraged people to become more adventurous.  No one needs to invest in a Red Room of Pain (how would you hide that from the kids anyhow?) but a little light bondage/restraint can be great fun.  The 50 Shades of Grey Toy Collection has just been released and contains everything from Soft Limits Deluxe Wrist Ties to a Hard Limits Restraint Kit and everything in between.  But more about the collection in another blog.  Between now and the movie's release on Valentine's Day in 2015, we'll fill you in on other items in the collection and products from other vendors that we love that will help you explore that lifestyle portrayed in 50 Shades of Grey.

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Celebrate the Fourth with a Bang! (Literally)

Ready or not, it's coming!  The fourth of July.  While some may argue that celebrating our nation's independence from British rule is one of the unsexiest holidays ever - we completely disagree!  July is summer - hot and sexy!  Free yourself from social constrictions and celebrate with a bang!

Most people probably don't think much about sex in colonial times - heaving bosoms aside, all those clothes and social mores must have put a damper on sexual freedom.  However, the ironic thing is that in many ways, we are more Puritanical about sex today than we were back then.  According to Richard Goodbeer's Sexual Revolution in Early America, most Colonists had a pretty liberal view about sexuality.  Because there was no expectation of privacy, Americans were exposed to sex early and often.  It was generally understood that sex was normal and healthy and therefore should not be concealed, but celebrated in bawdy books, songs and stories.

Fantasy Gifts NJ believes the best way to see fireworks is together.  The following products can be used alone but when used in partnership with each other it creates an even more explosive experience.  

System JO 2 to Tango Pleasure Kit for Couples:

The Dance that Only the Two can Dance!   This products creates the perfect union of prolonging and stimulating personal lubricant kit for women and for men.  This product contains a formula for women to enhance & stimulate, provide heightened sensation and enhanced gratification.  The formula for men is intended to prolong & excite!  The result is harder, stronger and prolonged lovemaking!   

ON Power Glide for Him and ON Arousal Oil for Her

 

ON Arousal is the most revolutionary female arousal product on the market - perfect for the fourth of July! This shockingly powerful botanical formula creates a warm and extremely unique buzzing sensation that awakens the nerve endings, increases blood flow and makes a woman feel more sensation than ever before!  ON Power Glide for him naturally boosts his performance and increases his sex drive.  The combination of these two products will make for an explosive holiday! 

Forta for Men  is 100% all natural supplements designed to maximize the human body’s potential for arousal and blood flow.  Forta for Men is a new remarkable fast acting all natural sexual enhancement product that makes the most of a man’s natural potential, allowing him to fortify his sex life naturally.   Once Forta For Men has been consumed an erection usually takes place within 45 minutes, and the effects can last 2 to 3 days.

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How to Really Celebrate Father's Day

Father's Day is approaching and although you may be tempted to get back at him for the lack of imagination he showed you on Mother's Day - don't!  After all, no one could possibly live up to the hype that surrounds Mother's Day - it's the Hallmark equivalent of Valentine's Day almost -except with zero benefit to him!  Father's Day however, only takes up 1/3 the amount of greeting card space and seems to suffer from the notion that all men want to do on Father's Day is drink beer and play golf.

Assuming your man is one of the millions that don't want to drink beer and play golf - how else should you celebrate?  Let's face it - men are very simple creatures.  It takes very little to make them happy.  Unlike Mother's Day, they don't need a card full of sappy sentiment nor do they want the perfect present of jewelry, flowers and chocolate (you can see why Mother's Day is a lot like Valentine's Day).  All they really need to make them happy this Father's Day is a mind-blowing orgasm.

Yes, yes, I know, you do a lot throughout the year and you'd like a mind-blowing orgasm once a year too.  Well tough, this day is about him.  And if you do it right, I'm sure he'll return the favor.  So buy yourself some sexy lingerie.  No need to spend a fortune, it won't stay on for too long anyway.  And don't worry about how you look in it - he really doesn't care.  He'll think you look good in anything slutty no matter how many rolls of fat are sticking out.  Really, the gold standard in buying lingerie should be if you wouldn't be caught dead in it - he'll probably love it.

Next, foreplay.  Don't get too carried away.  The average sexual experience only lasts an average of 3 minutes.  You don't want all your hard work and planning to go to waste.  Don't bother with scented candles, they'll only make him sneeze.  Maybe cue up a good erotic movie.  Remember, men are visual creatures.  The story line does not matter.  After a few minutes, you should be good to go.

Finally, the mind-blowing orgasm part.  Hate to break it to you ladies, but it's a blow job.  It's really all he wants for Father's Day - so why not just give it to him.  He'll be so grateful.  According to Marcy Michaels in her book Blow Him Away: How to Give Him Mind-Blowing Oral Sex, even mediocre blow jobs make men happy.  So unless you have an unfortunate tendency to bite, it's very hard to perform an unsuccessful blowjob. But this is Father's Day - we're not shooting for mediocre.  Remember the standard is mind-blowing.  So how is mind-blowing accomplished?  Start with simply paying attention to him.  You know the saying that foreplay begins at breakfast?  That only applies to women.  For him, start the moment by focusing solely on him.  No distracting television, no worrying that the kids are going to walk him, no interrupting in the middle to wonder if you paid the mortgage bill.  This is all about him.  So kiss him, look at him, tell him how much you love him and how you still find him sexy.  Pay attention to his whole body, not just his penis.  We'll get to that in a minute.  But for just a few minutes, enjoy all of him from the top of his scalp to the tip of his toes.

Next, focus on his goods.  But not too quickly.  There's more down there than just his penis.  Stroke his perineum, his balls before gently taking him in your mouth.  And remember that men are visual creatures - maintain eye contact.  Act like this is the best experience you've ever had.  Use some flavored lubricants if you like (this is the one instance where you can think about your preference).  Warm up by running your lips around his penis - avoid the head at first.  When you're ready, take him into your mouth slowly and massage his balls simultaneously.  Don't forget his perineum - it's a very sensitive area.  Finally, use your hands or a tool like the Doc Johnson Good Head Helping Head to stroke him while engaging him in your mouth.  And don't forget to swallow - it's Father's Day after all!

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How to Celebrate Oral Sex Day

Did you know that June 9 is Oral Sex Day (6-9, get it?).  How better to celebrate this day than with amazing oral sex!  Oral Sex is so much more than just a blow job or cunnilingus.  Done correctly, it can give you the most mind-blowing orgasm you have ever experienced.  In honor of the true 6-9 day, we are going to give you step by step instructions on how to correctly perform in this position.

Step 1:  Keep it Clean.  We all know what goes on down there and how close our genital areas are to other, shall we say, malodorous areas.  Nothing will kill the mood faster than catching a whiff of anything less than sanitary.  So please, before you begin, make sure all exit and off ramps are clean and pleasant.  Take a shower or bubble bath together to set the mood.

Step 2:  Shaving.  The issue of whether to shave or not to shave is actually a hot topic button.  While some prefer the genital area to be smooth and hair-free, others prefer a natural jungle.  Whatever your preference, make sure your partner is on the same page as well.  This is a duet, not a solo.  Shaving your partner can actually be a sexy form of foreplay, try using a product like Coochy Creme which is specifically formulated to use on coarse pubic hair.

Step 3: Pick your position.  Wait, you mean 69 doesn't mean just one position?  Of course not, this is sex people - there are about as many variations on the 69 position as there are on the standard missionary position - nothing's standard anymore!  According to the book Fifty Shades Of Oral Pleasure by Marisa Bennett, there's the Reverse Hookup where you use any padded surface and he lies down with her on top.  The Lazy 69 is a sideways 69 and you lie in bed together.  The Massage Envy takes an erotic massage to a whole new level - make sure you have plenty of massage oil on hand.  Downward Dog calls for the receiver to lie face down on the bed and present their rear for oral stimulation.  There's also the Strong Man which, obviously, needs a very strong man to support her weight while both partners are vertical, but she is upside down.  Very dangerous if you don't know what you're doing!

Step 4:  Add your accessories.  Oral Sex is not complete without adding in some oral enhancements.  Whether it's a Good Head Gel, a BJ Blast or even just a flavored lip balm, no 69 encounter is complete without your favorite flavor.  So go ahead and celebrate 6-9 Day!

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Bachelorette Party Favors

Bachelorette Season is upon us and if you are one of the lucky bridesmaids, our condolences!  Not only do you have to pay for a dress you will never wear again, you also have to help plan for (and pay!) for the bridal shower and the bachelorette party!

Luckily, you can do some wonderful, creative things on a budget.  It just takes a little planning and a few dollars.  Even if you are not crafty at all, there are still easy ways to look like the Martha Stewart of hen parties.  All it requires is a trip to the dollar store and your local Fantasy Gifts.

Below are some examples of some party favors we quickly we put together.  They each cost under $10 to assemble.

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Here Comes the Bride - Decor for the Bachelorette Party

It's Bridal Season!  At Fantasy Gifts, this season is right up there with Christmas and Valentine's Day!  Let's face it, you simply cannot get decent bachelorette novelties at Party City.  Whether you're looking for simple and tasteful or naughty and nasty, Fantasy Gifts has you covered!  Bachelorette Parties encompass so many novelties - there's tableware and decor, novelties, edibles, games and clothing to name a few.  So to make things easy, let's break this blog down and just focus on decor first.

I'll be honest - you can probably get simple and tasteful at Target or Party City.  But even if that's the route you're going, you can still throw in a little bling to keep the party interesting! Start with your color scheme.  Most bachelorette decorations are pink - but don't let that define you.  Pick the bride's favorite colors.  You can stay bright and fun and avoid pink all together.  At Fantasy Gifts we have a significant lesbian population who thankfully are now able to marry in New Jersey.  We also have a number of older brides.  These groups tend to eschew anything pink or penis related.  No worries, although we do have your typical pink plates, we also feature plates with no penis' or pink in sight!  One of our favorite plates, the Let's Party Plates work well for a host of occasions and also have napkins and cups.

But let's face it, most brides do want the whole fun penis themed!  It's about the only time in your life you can feed you grandmother Penis Pasta Salad with Pecker Party Ware.  You can mix up some drinks in our Pecker Cocktail Shaker, throw in some Penis Ice Cubes and serve them up in the Sexy Bitch Pimp Cup.  Appetizers can be served using our Pecker Cocktail Picks.  And of course, no bachelorette party is complete without a giant Penis Cake topped with our Mini Pecker Candles and Pecker Cake Sprinkles.  Enjoy!

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